Dear Dayna,

I’ve usually wanted to choose a lesbian club, but i am stressed that I’m not cool enough. The way you explore it’s so remarkable and enjoyable and dazzling, but I’m terrified i am too introverted for that scene. And also if I could easily get myself personally to a bar, I think I would personally provide basically tried to strike on a female. I truly would you like to just go and socialize and find a girlfriend, but my personal personal anxiety keeps getting into ways. What are ideas for a first time nerdy lesbian?

– Lesbian Urkle

Dear Lesbian Urkle,

I might have the honor of providing advice as a lesbian intercourse and internet dating writer, but oh honey!
I panic my personal means through life
, you’ve visited the right spot for assistance. Though I am a stressed girl, we nevertheless on a regular basis go out, turn-up and hook-up. Just how, you may well ask? Follow these simple actions: Look beautiful, drink and force yourself to talk to complete strangers.

First circumstances initial:
You will need a unique outfit
. I Will Not lie for your requirements —
yes, lesbian taverns is daunting.
Certainly, the scene feels just a little cliquish. Yes, girls tend to be hot and outfitted impeccably. However you know very well what more? Those same women are humans like everyone else and me personally. They’re over to have a good time like everyone else and me personally.  Plus they are most likely driving for sex exactly like you and myself. You-know-what otherwise?
You will be in the same way cool and swaggy should you decide overcome the anxiety.

When you have scored a hot brand new ensemble (might i recommend black trousers and a leather-jacket to try out it traditional lez snazzy?), you have to take in. We never ever mentioned it was healthier guidance! I am a nightlife lez, not a physical fitness lez. Drinking loosens you up, reduces the inhibitions and heightens the confidence. But don’t take in in excess. You believe you have social anxiety today, lady? It’s absolutely nothing when compared to crushing-chest-head-fog-panic-shame-spiral you’ll feel any time you awake the next day maybe not recalling yesterday evening. You have a five-drink max, girl.

More significant than ingesting is great. I accustomed turn into major mean-girl-mode as a defense procedure for how insecure I was feeling. I’d scowl at anyone that checked myself. I acted like I found myself too-good to talk to strangers. Today i will be usually cheerful and tell hi everyone else. It is a lot easier plus much more fun. I’m sure its appealing to put your tough-babe armour on when you are feeling stressed, but getting prone and sort is a much better method to socialize appreciate your self.

Living my fab life has actually taught myself a really important thing: It’s not that significant. Like, there is nothing. Especially nightlife! Every day life is small. Absolutely nothing you are doing will really make a difference (okay, now the Jenny Schecter in me is on its way completely, cut the nihilism). In a nutshell, only state go with it, and enjoy yourself. I do believe in you. While you will find me completely, come state hi!

Xoxo,

Dayna

Self-proclaimed dyke princess Dayna Troisi is actually pleased to get relate Editor at GO mag. She actually is passionate about lesbian intercourse + dating, beauty + style, along with her badass bionic arm. The recommendations offered in this column is intended for informative functions only and should not change or replacement any medical, and other expert advice or help.